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But it sort of didn't."It's not really a harem," I told her. "Like, harem women are all kept locked up, aren't they? With, what do you call those guys – eunuchs – guarding them. And they aren't allowed to do anything except wait for the master to call for them. It isn't like that with Gary. We can do whatever we want, and we don't have to sleep with Gary if we don't want to. And, like, Joanne sleeps with Jake and Sid too, and she's getting married to some guy who used to be on the boat. And I saw Kate and the captain have sex once." But you're one of these women?" she asked me quietly."Well, kind of, I guess. Not officially, yet. I'm sort of just a guest. But I'm upstairs with the other 'Girls', and I help with the chores, and, um, I sometimes sleep with Gary..."We were sitting on the lanai of her grandmother's house, with a huge tray of flower blossoms in front of us. The smell was overwhelming. Moira and Gary were off with Malia's brother, checking out something. Malia hadn't. Living far apart, not seeing each other regularly, I had always tried to end each visit with him in such a way that, if he were hit by the proverbial bus, there would be few regrets. It might not be our way to say we loved each other, but I know that the fact of my love, affection and respect were as real to him as if the words were carved in stone.I also knew, though, that if I was to finish this without regrets, there was one thing I had to bring it up now. I wanted somewhere to go to be with him after he was gone. I'd lost a much loved grandmother some years before, my Mom's mom, who had asked that her body be donated to science. That meant no burial and no gravesite, not even an urn of cremated remains. As much as I held her in my heart, it would have been easier if I'd had somewhere to go, some pilgrimage to make to be with her. It seemed even more important that I get it right this time."Would you mind if I placed a marker? Maybe on your mom's grave?" They wouldn't let you." If.
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